A kind reader commented tonight that I should pursue my husband. I do agree that I wait for him to come to me or am overly passive-agressive about the time we spend together. But, he has the same feelings (maybe in different ways) than I do.
I found this amazing list
online and I am going to work through it. I love Paul, I think we need to find out and go back to the reasons that made us fall in love. I know not every kiss will have butterflies, but some still do. I want more time together, more time to really know him.
1.TEXT HIM A LOVE MESSAGE Send him a romantic text message on his cell. Make sure it's sweet but spicy!
2.DO ONE OF HIS CHORES FOR HIM Pick a chore that he dreads, such as mowing the lawn, and do it for him. Watch him as he sighs with relief.
3.START A HOBBY TOGETHER Sharing a hobby together such as horse back riding, completing a home improvement project, or selling on eBay can help keep you close.
4.PLAY A GAME TOGETHER Have fun doing things together such as playing board games, riding bumper boats, or playing miniature golf. Just remember, if he should get the best of you, don't tackle him unless you're laughing!
5.SHOW APPRECIATION When your husband works hard, or does something for you, let him know you appreciate him.
6.MAKE YOUR HOME HIS REFUGE Let your home be a haven were your husband can retreat from the stresses of life. Do your best to make it a pleasant environment.
7.LAUGH AT HIS ANTICS Don't let the little things that your husband does get on your nerves. If you think about it, some of these things may have been what attracted you to him! He just wouldn't be the same if he didn't do these things.
8.PRAY FOR HIM Ask God to give him that extra boost to make everything OK. Let your husband hear you pray too. This will let him know that when you can't make it right, you'll ask someone who can.
9.CHECK BEFORE THROWING THINGS AWAY If your husband has some things that seem useless to you, don't trash them until you've made sure he doesn't need them.
10.CHECK BEFORE REARRANGING Ask your husband if it's OK before you move or straighten things on his desk or work area. If he has things where it's easy to find, it might make it chaotic if it's moved.
11.TAKE A WALK OR A HIKE TOGETHER Let nature set the mood for romance! Talk, listen, and hold hands.
12.DON'T EXPECT HIM TO READ YOUR MIND If there is something you want your husband to know about you, tell him. Don't expect him to just know what you're thinking or what you need.
13.LAUGH TOGETHER Forget your adults for awhile, and just act silly together. Also, if something should go awry, try to find some humor in it somewhere. This will also reduce the stress of the situation.
14.RESIST THE URGE TO SNOOP Don't sneak around and check up on your husband, if you want to know something, ask him to his face.
15.GIVE HIM A ROMANTIC CARD Don't wait for a special occasion to give him a card. Find the most romantic card you can find and leave it in his car. Don't forget to add your own personal message! Maybe you'll even make him nervous, wondering if he forgot an anniversary!
16.PACK HIS FAVORITE TREAT Buy his favorite candy bar or other treat, and pack it in his lunch with a love note.
17.TAKE A BUBBLE BATH TOGETHER This is self-explanatory.
18.E-MAIL HIM AN INVITATION FOR ROMANCE Invite him on a rendezvous with you! Build his anticipation, then tell him to RSVP!
19.TAKE HIM TO TEST DRIVE HIS DREAM CAR Drive him to a car lot some Saturday, and let him test drive the car of his dreams - even though you probably won't buy it.
20.LET HIM BUY THAT TOY Permit him to buy that toy he's been wanting so badly. Better yet, put some of your own things off, save the money and buy it for him yourself!
21.TALK ABOUT THE FUTURE The future isn't as far away as it seems sometimes. Talk about where you'd like to be when you're married 50 years, and work on making those dreams happen.
22.GIVE HIM THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT Don't jump to conclusions if your husband has said or done something questionable. Give him the chance to explain before you pass judgement.
23.LET HIM BE THE MAN OF THE HOUSE Although this is growing increasingly unpopular, it does still work. Just because your husband is in charge of the household doesn't mean that you can't share your opinions, it just means he's captain of the team.
24.SAY, "I'M SORRY" Although you may not want to admit it, there will be times when you're in the wrong. Maybe you've said something hurtful or done something insensitive. Never have too much pride to tell him you're sorry.
25.KEEP YOUR PROMISES If you told your husband you'd do something, make sure that you follow through.
26.RUB HIS FEET Steer him to the recliner and pull off his shoes. Rub his feet for at least 20 minutes. It has been told that this may even improve his health!
27.MAKE YOUR BEDROOM A LOVER'S PARADISE Turn your ordinary bedroom into any lover's dream without a lot of expense. Remove clutter and anything that doesn't belong, and replace it with scented candles and fresh flowers. Hang pretty curtains and find some comfy bedding. Place mirrors to reflect candlelight, and misting fountains for a romantic effect.
28.WRITE A NOTE ON THE STEAMED-UP BATHROOM MIRROR While your husband is showering, sneak in and write, "I love you" on the steamed-up bathroom mirror. This will steam him up as well, especially if you seal it with your lip prints!
29.PUT LOVE IN HIS SUDS I'm talking about a bar of soap! Scratch "I love you" into his soap so he'll find it the next time he showers. (You may not want to seal this note with your lip prints, though).
30.GIVE HIM A MASSAGE Go buy some sweet smelling oils and turn your bedroom into a spa! Give your husband a full body massage and work out those aching muscles.
31.PLAY ROMANTIC MUSIC Keep a good deal of romantic music on hand in your bedroom to help set the mood for romance.
32.PUT A SIGN IN YOUR YARD Place a sign in your yard such as, "THE WORLD'S GREATEST HUSBAND LIVES HERE." Let everyone know how special your husband is to you.
33.LET BYGONES BE BYGONES If your husband has done or said something to hurt you, forgive him. Don't keep bringing up the past every time you get into a disagreement, especially if he has shown remorse.
34.BE HONEST Don't hide things from your husband. Be open and transparent. This will help him trust you more.
35.BRAG ON HIM IN FRONT OF HIS FRIENDS Men naturally rely on boost in their ego now and then in order to stay confident. Let him hear you tell others about the great things he says and does.
36.CLEAN HIS CAR FOR HIM Surprise him by giving his car a good detailed cleaning. If you don't want to tackle it yourself, have it professionally done.
37.PUT HIS PICTURE IN WALLPAPER Let him know that you still think he's a gorgeous hunk by putting his picture on your computer desktop!
38.BUY A BUMPER STICKER Put a "I Love My Husband" bumper sticker on your car.
39.WORSHIP TOGETHER The couple who prays together, stays together. These will be very tender and special moments shared between the two of you, as well as important.
40.EAT BY CANDLELIGHT Cook his favorite meal and light the candles. Take time to focus on each other, and to look into each others eyes.
41.BE DEVOTED TO HIM One of the greatest gifts that you could ever give your husband is your true faithfulness. This includes physically, emotionally, and in your thoughts. If you're struggling with temptation, nip it in the bud. Tell him your feelings in a sensitive and loving way. Don't bottle anything up, this is asking for disaster.
42.RUN YOUR FINGERS THROUGH HIS HAIR Or massage his temples if he doesn't have any. Do this while he relaxes. Remember, your touch is important to him.
43.DON'T CONTRADICT HIM IN FRONT OF OTHERS This will only embarrass him and cause people to lose respect. This is especially important if you have children.
44.DON'T CRITICIZE HIM IN FRONT OF OTHERS If you feel that your husband needs a bit of constructive criticism, make sure it's just that - constructive. Don't offer it at all unless it's in a loving way, and in private. Being criticized in front of others lowers self esteem and causes hurt feelings.
45.DEFEND HIM Don't let others disrespect your husband. Even just a snide comment can hurt. Stick up for him. Don't let someone drive into the ground the most important person in your life.
46.LOVE YOURSELF Many times we as women hold back on our husbands because of our own insecurities. Learn to let it go. The things that we're so worried about, usually don't even bother him. What bothers him is when we hold back. Remember, although this may sound strange, you can't really love someone until you love yourself.
47.PAMPER HIM WHEN HE'S SICK Men love to be pampered, especially when they're sick. Make sure everything is comfortable and that he has his "special soup."
48.LOOK HIM IN THE EYES Look your husband straight in the eyes when he talks to you. Not only will this show that you're interested in what he has to say, but there is something about looking straight into his eyes that will give you butterflies.
49.DISPLAY YOUR WEDDING PHOTOS Don't tuck away your wedding photos after you've been married awhile, keep them on display. This will be a great reminder of how your love was at the beginning, and how much it has grown.
50.DISPLAY YOUR MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE Frame the sacred document of your marriage. This will be a wonderful and constant reminder that your love is sealed, and you really do belong to each other.
51.TRUST HIM Too many times wives just sit around and wait for their husbands to do something wrong. Cut him some slack and dare to believe in him.
52.HAVE YOUR PHOTO MADE TOGETHER You may have done this when you were dating, but why not now? Get a current shot to place on the bedroom dresser or the desk at work.
53.LET HIM WIN It is inevitable, even in healthy marriages, to argue occasionally. What would it really hurt to just let him win? At least you wouldn't be arguing.
54.DON'T GO TO BED MAD Although you've probably heard this one for years, and it may have been your grandmother's first marriage advice to you, it is still true. Going to bed hurt or angry keeps feelings under the surface. When you wake up you don't want to continue the argument, so you you hold in your frustrations and they begin to mount. It's best to talk everything out, and fall asleep in each other's arms.
55.DON'T COMPARE HIM Don't EVER, EVER compare your husband to another man - not even your father. Your husband is his own person and unique in his own ways. Love him for it.
56.GREET HIM AT THE DOOR Don't wait for your husband to say, "Honey, I'm home!" Watch for him, and greet him at the door with a hug and kiss.
57.MEND HIS CLOTHES Buy a sewing kit and repair those sock holes! Break down and sew on his popped-off buttons. This may increase his wardrobe by 20%!
58.TALK IN CODE Pick a code word for something that only the two of you know the meaning for and say it openly in public. You'll have your own inside joke. This will help keep you close.
59.HAVE A WRESTLING MATCH This will get you both laughing, and the closeness will be fun!
60.WAKE HIM UP WITH KISSES Make his whole day go better by waking him up with kisses. He may even keep you there through breakfast!
61.HELP HIM SHAVE This is a fun way to be close and to get you both laughing! (As long as your careful, that is).
62.DEDICATE A SONG TO HIM Did you have a song that was "your song" while you were dating? Call up your local radio station and request it, and have them to dedicate it to your hubby!
63.MAKE HIM A HEART-SHAPED BREAKFAST Make heart-shaped pancakes and heart-shaped toast! Trim little pads of butter into heart shapes as well.
64.DON'T TRY TO BE HIS MOM Remember you are his wife, not his mother. Don't jump him every time he leaves something on the floor or his clothes don't match. It's OK to lovingly remind him, occasionally, but don't nag him.
65.GRAB A KISS WHILE YOU WAIT Kiss your husband while you're waiting at the stoplight or in the food drive-through. Your wait won't seem near as long, and you may wish it could last a littler longer!
66.FLIRT WITH HIM Just because you've snagged him, don't stop flirting! Wink at him, squeeze his muscles and, WHOOOO, or now that your married, it's not at all out of line to be a little bolder in your purpose.
67.GO ON A LONG DRIVE Go for a long drive and sight see. This is an excellent chance to talk or just be in each other's company. The way gas prices are, you'd almost have to love someone in order to take a long drive. If you don't want to spend the gas, drive to a pretty park or lake and just stop and soak up the scenery while you talk and hold hands.
68.BE HIS BEST FRIEND Let him feel confident that you'll always be there when needs to talk, to laugh, or even cry. Let him be free to be himself at all times and stick with him through the thick and thin.
69.EAT AN ICE CREAM CONE TOGETHER Buy one, large cone, and eat it together at the same time. You may miss the cone, and touch his lips, which will even be sweeter!
70.CHERISH THE SMALL THINGS Concentrate on the way he walks, the way he talks, his smile, or the way he says your name. These are really more important than you think, and no one can do it quite like him.
71.HELP HIM WITH HIS CLOTHES Ask him to let you help with the buttoning or unbuttoning of his clothes as he's dressing or undressing. Caress him gently as you're doing it.
72.KEEP YOURSELF ATTRACTIVE It's easy to fall into a "house wife" mode and just walk around in "cleaning clothes" with your hair twisted into a mess. That's OK while your actually cleaning, but try to be more presentable by the time your husband sees you. Bathe, put on clean clothes and a dab of perfume, and set your hair nice.
73.DON'T PUSH THE BUDGET It is important to learn to live within your means. If you can't afford certain things, don't buy them. Financial stress is very hard on marriages.
74.DON'T COMPLAIN Don't complain about your standard of living or whine about the things that you don't have. If your husband is doing his best to provide for you, make the best with what you have. If you complain, this makes him feel that he is not a good provider, and this is a great blow to his self esteem.
75.HAVE A PILLOW FIGHT If you must fight with your husband, do it with pillows! Make sure nothing is around that can break, then go into battle! See how long you can go without laughing.
76.LOOK OUT FOR HIS HEALTH Encourage your husband to get plenty of sleep and exercise. Try to get him to keep medical and dental appointments. Cook healthy meals, and give him nutritional supplements.
77.BUY HIM SOME SEXY BOXERS Buy several pairs of sexy shorts for him! Try silky, colorful, and glow in the dark! Make sure you tell him what a hunk he is while he's wearing them!
78.WEAR THE LINGERIE HE LOVES Some wives love it, some dread it, but just make sure you wear it!
79.DARE TO BE BOLD Too often, wives wait for their husbands to make the first move in the bedroom. Try showing little aggression yourself once in awhile. This will majorly ignite your husband's passion, and the fireworks will begin!
80.DON'T DEPRIVE HIM Husbands need sex probably more than wives need hugs and compliments. This is one of the main ways he feels loved. Naturally, there will be sometimes you don't feel like it. But even then, if you just give in, you will before it's over.
81.SPLURGE OCCASIONALLY Although money is a precious commodity to many couples, try to find a way to splurge on something now and then. If you have children, find someone to care for them and get away for the weekend. If you can't afford a trip, find a hotel in or near your hometown with a jacuzzi. If it's still too costly, buy something that you both would enjoy, like a new CD.
82.WORK ON YOUR WAYS It's easy to see and point out flaws in your husband, but if you're honest, you'll realize that you haven't earned a halo yet. Try to work on your own shortcomings and make yourself a better person.
83.DON'T BE A PESSIMIST Try not to focus too much on the negative. Keep a positive outlook in your marriage.
84.DON'T RUB IT IN IF YOU'RE RIGHT If you've disagreed on something and it turns out that you were right, don't gloat about it and throw it in his face.
85.WASH EACH OTHERS HAIR Jump in the shower and suds up! Watch the water and soap trickle down his face as you wash his hair.
86.EXAMINE HIS FEATURES Take a moment to delight in your husband's features. The shape of his nose, the set of his eyes. If he catches you staring, wink at him.
87.SEEK HIS ADVICE Ask for your husband's input and advice on anything from children to what he might like to eat. This will let him know he's needed and that his thoughts are important.
88.KEEP TIDY Keep things neat and tidy around the house. Decorate and make things look comfortable and welcoming.
89.TALK ABOUT HIS INTERESTS Bring up a subject that interests him and listen to him talk. Even if the subject doesn't interest you, enjoy watching him as he gets stirred up over the topic.
90.SHOP FOR HIM When you run to the store, see if there is something that you should pick up for him. This could save him a lot of time or keep him from missing a lunch break.
91.KIDNAP HIM Plan a special evening, make all the arrangements, then show up at his job just as he gets off work. Tell him to get in the car and no questions. (Make sure you smile, so he don't get alarmed). Whisk him away for a fun-filled evening, then return to get his car later.
92.RAKE LEAVES TOGETHER Go to your back yard and rake up a pile of leaves. Before you bag them up, play in them together.
93.DON'T LIVE IN A FANTASY WORLD If you can't read a novel without getting depressed over your love life, throw them away. Many books or movies can portray romance in very unrealistic ways. True love and romance is what he is already doing -providing for you and loving you unconditionally.
94.GO CAMPING TOGETHER Find a good camp site and pitch a tent! Buy a two person sleeping bag.
95.DON'T TALK HIS LEG OFF IF HE'S TIRED If your husband is tired and you need to talk to him, go straight to the bottom line and spare the details.
96.SLOW DANCE IN YOUR BEDROOM Plug in some flashing lights and turn on some romantic music and start slow dancing. (Clothes optional).
97.PLAY HIDE AND GO SEEK IN YOUR NIGHTIES Put on your sexiest negligee and challenge him to a game of hide and go seek. He'll say, "Ready or not, here I come!"
98.MAKE LOVE UNDER THE STARS Find a secluded place and throw out a sleeping bag. Make love by the moonlight as you gaze at the stars.
99.SIT IN FRONT OF A FIRE TOGETHER Snuggle up together in front of the fireplace and make out. If you don't have a fire place, consider buying an electric one, these look realistic, and are still romantic.
100.DOTE ON HIM Pick a night and wait on him hand and foot. Draw him a bath, fix his plate for him, and anything else that you can dream up!
101.JUST SAY IT Make it a point to say the words I love you every single day, and mean it.
